People Can Change Undesirable Character Traits with New Habits
But forcing yourself to develop them doesn’t work
It worked for me, but it works for everybody.
Habits constitute who you are. You cannot have good habits regarding good manners and be a rude person. You cannot be a nice person and constantly say unpleasant things to others. Your habits shape your personality.
I don’t say it wasn’t hard to start new habits or it wasn’t a struggle to develop them. Sometimes, I needed to apply some force to myself — willpower or self-discipline and such. But most of the times I embraced a new habit because I wanted to become a better person. So, most of the internal battle was already won.
One Example
I was shy. In fact, I was comfortable within my shell, so I didn’t interact with others unless I had to. I’m a hardcore introvert and pretty blind to subtle social cues. Practically any interaction depletes my energy. I’m direct and insensitive, so I often hurt people. It creates so much drama!
It was easier for me to not interact at all.
When I decided to change myself, I concluded I need to work on my social skills. My goal was to be able to start conversation with a complete stranger without any anxiety whatsoever.
I did that by embracing a few tiny daily habits. I observed people around me. I started to purposefully think something positive about them. I made eye contact. I smiled at them.
The Results
I’m still an introvert. But I can speak with strangers without anxiety. I’m more social and slightly more sensitive. I have more friends and lightweight connections.
My tiny habits reshaped who I am.
Originally published on Quora.
